Catchy Comedy Schedule
For Columbus, OH
You're viewing the schedule for Columbus Over the air 22.5
6:00a ET
Green Acres
Haney's New Image
Oliver gets the usual runaround from Haney when he complains about the ancient tractor he'd bought. But suddenly, it's a new, honest Haney who offers to buy back the tractor and the "dump" of a farm he sold Oliver. Coincidently, he's just learned that the Douglas farm is in the path of a proposed new highway. Oliver's soon onto his scheme and decides to make the charlatan squirm.
6:30a ET
Green Acres
Alf and Ralph Break Up
Alf and Ralph announce that they are finally going to finish the Douglases' bedroom, but the project stalls when the "brothers" begging fighting. Lisa hires Ralph as their maid and Oliver can't bring himself to fire her when he discovers she's a good cook.
7:00a ET
Green Acres
No Trespassing
Oliver's crabby attitude leads everyone think he's about to snap from overwork. To help him relax, Lisa takes him on a picnic by the lake. That's where he runs into gun-totin' Ira Hatch, who hassles him about trespassing on his property. When he tells the locals about the old man, they declare Haney the winner of the "Oliver Douglas crack-up pool" because Ira had died 20 years earlier.
7:30a ET
Green Acres
Not Guilty
Sam Drucker calls the law when he discover $300 is missing from his safe. With the investigation pointing only to Frank Nitti, Eb is finally charged when he shows up in a car he paid $300 for and can't recall who gave him the money to buy it.
8:00a ET
Green Acres
Home is Where You Run Away From
A young runaway turns up in the Douglases' barn but refuses tell them his real name. After Oliver reports the child to the police, the boy goes on the lam. When encountering other Hooterville residents, his aliases include Oliver Wendall Douglas, Jr., Fred Ziffel, Jr. Hank Kimball, Jr. and Sam Drucker, Jr.
8:30a ET
Green Acres
How To Succeed on TV without Really Trying
Boy genius Dilly Watkins improves farm life for Douglases with his new electronic inventions. Besides the barn door opener that works when Eleanor moos at it, there's the television camera that sends pictures of the cow to the bedroom set. Oliver doesn't realize the camera is transmitting to all the sets in the valley, turning him into an overnight sensation.
9:00a ET
Green Acres
Arnold Ziffel, Boy Hero
Arnold is opening an account at the Pixley Bank when two robbers make off with a bundle of cash and the pig's five dollars. The pair hides out at the Douglases' farm, taking Lisa, Oliver and Eb hostage. Arnold makes off with their bag of money and takes it to the authorities while the clueless criminals force Lisa to make hotcakes for them.
9:30a ET
Green Acres
Flight to Nowhere
The farmers of Hooterville sign up for a government-sponsored agriculture exchange program to Europe. When they realize the $300 cost for tickets is per person, not per plane-load, they decide to supply their own airplane with Oliver as their pilot.
10:00a ET
Green Acres
My Mother the Countess
On learning that Lisa's mother is coming for a visit, the Hooterville residents go overboard in wanting to welcome the countess. Despite Oliver's protests that she's not royalty, they forge ahead anyway with plans for a parade and marching band.
10:30a ET
Green Acres
The Spring Festival
Everyone in Hooterville, except Oliver, is overcome with spring fever; even Sam Drucker is wearing his spring toupee. Deciding to revive the Hooterville spring festival, Lisa visits the neighbors to drum up support. Meanwhile, Oliver tries to do his planting with Eb who can't understand how to work the automatic planter.
11:00a ET
Green Acres
Our Son, the Barber
Eb's latest career choice is that of a barber. He talks Oliver into paying his tuition to MIT, a mail-order barber college. Eb's sent a dummy head and hair to practice on and receives his grades by mailing the trimmed toupees back to the school. Lisa is excited about Eb's education while Oliver is irritated by all the hidden costs he keeps being asked to pay.
11:30a ET
Green Acres
Oliver's Jaded Past
Lisa's long-awaited vacation to New York is not what she'd hoped for. She's none too thrilled hearing about Oliver's womanizing playboy days or all the wild parties they're invited to. When Oliver's offered a job with his old law firm, he's the Douglas who's tempted by the excitement of city life.
12:00p ET
Green Acres
The Rutabaga Story
It's planting season in Hooterville, but Oliver doesn't know what to grow. After testing the soil, he discovers Hooterville is perfect for growing rutabagas. The locals are overcome with rutabega fever, going so far as to plan a "Rutabaga Bowl". To spread the word, Lisa is sent up in a hot air balloon to drop vegetables on people with the message "Eat Hooterville Rutabagas" written on them.
12:30p ET
Green Acres
Star Named Arnold Is Born, A (Part 1)
Arnold's performance as a British police dog in the Hooterville theater production of Who--the marquee wasn't big enough for Who Killed Jock Robin?--turns him into an overnight star. Lisa is so impressed, she arranges for an old friend to give him a Hollywood screen test. The Douglases are soon Tinseltown bound, escorting the hammy actor west for his big showbiz break.
1:00p ET
Green Acres
Star Named Arnold Is Born, A (Part 2)
Oliver and Lisa chaperone Arnold to Hollywood for his screen test. Producer Boris Fedor isn't interested in the pig; he's just using him to pressure a greedy horse to come back to work. When the horse's agent balks, the publicity machine starts promoting Arnold as the studio's next big star. A stunned Oliver, who came along for laughs, can't believe what he's witnessing.
1:30p ET
Green Acres
Guess Who's Not Going to the Luau?
Peterson's Poi Juice is giving away a trip to Hawaii and Arnold Ziffel is chosen as the winner. When the ad agency rep meets Arnold and discovers he's not a human, he tries to disqualify the swine. Famous pig lawyer Oliver Douglas is retained to fight for Arnold's winnings.
2:00p ET
Green Acres
Eb's Romance
Eb announces his engagement to Loreli Appleby, a girl he met the day before. In an attempt to impress his future father-in-law, Eb succeeds in destroying the farmer's cabbage crop. To get back in the man's good graces, Eb pawns Oliver's cow Eleanor so he can make the Appleby's mortgage payment.
2:30p ET
Green Acres
The Candidate
Fed up with the lousy condition of the Hooterville highway, Oliver launches an attack on their beloved state district representative, Ben Hanks. The folksy, duck-calling, guitar-playing politician proves too wily for Oliver, even when caught padding the state payroll with relatives.
3:00p ET
Green Acres
Handy Lessons
Wanting to be a bigger help to Oliver, Lisa decides to learn carpentry. She buys overalls and begins to study the craft from the inept Monroe brothers. Lisa's talents result in destruction in Monroes' workshop and earns Oliver a punch in the nose.
3:30p ET
Green Acres
Old Mail Day
It's "Old Mail Day" and Sam Drucker hands out letters that have gotten misplaced in his post office. Having learned nothing from his previous letter-writing fiascos, an upset Oliver complains to the Postmaster General for delivery service. The locals soon turn on Oliver because Drucker's General Store is never open; he's always on his bicycle delivering mail.
4:00p ET
Green Acres
The Agricultural Student
The Agricultural Department is sending a student to learn the ropes from Hank Kimball. When "Terry" turns out to be a gorgeous, blonde co-ed, the men of Hooterville line up at the Douglases' farm to take her to the barn dance.
4:30p ET
Green Acres
How Hooterville was Floundered
After Joe Carson quits as head of the Hooterville centennial celebration, Oliver gets the job. His idea is to stage a re-enactment of the town's founding starring he and Lisa as Horace and Doris Hooter. In the dramatization, saloon girl Doris fleeces Horace out of the money he'd hoped to buy a farm with. Eventually, he gets his money back, thanks to her skills as a card shark, and they marry and settle Hooterville.
5:00p ET
Green Acres
How to Get From Hooterville to Pixley Without Moving
After Oliver orders the Monroe brothers to finish work on the bedroom, they confess that they never got a building permit. Oliver storms off to get one himself, only to discover his barn is in Hooterville but his house is in Pixley. Haney, who sold them the farm, offers to hook a rope to the house and pull it to Hooterville with his truck.
5:30p ET
Green Acres
The Birthday Gift
For Lisa's birthday gift, Oliver plans to gets her a horse. Mr Haney delivers one, and it's not your average nag. Its name is Mr. Fred, a talking horse who's also a has-been TV star. Meanwhile, the locals decide that Lisa has a drinking habit and attempt an intervention.
6:00p ET
Green Acres
Everywhere a Chick Chick
Oliver gets into the chicken raising business with the purchase of 1000 chicks. Nothing goes as planned, with Lisa trying to raise them as human children and the brooder breaking down.
6:30p ET
Green Acres
The Marital Vacation
Even though taking seperate vacations was Lisa's idea, she misses Oliver before she even gets to the airport. Her constant phone calls and visits from neighbors irritate Oliver so much, he hops a plane to New York to join her.
On Now: 7:00p ET
Green Acres A Prize in Every Package
Criminals rob a jewelry store in Chicago and stash their haul in a grain bin. The expensive gems end up packed in boxes of Crickly Wickly cereal shipped to Hooterville. Lisa knows real jewels when she sees them, but Oliver's sure they're just costume. After taking them to be appraised, the sheriff arrests Oliver for the jewelry store heist.
7:30p ET
Green Acres
A Day in the Life of Oliver Wendell Holmes
The law office of Douglas and Williams is open for business, even though the sign has Oliver Mendell Douglas (later Oliver Wendell Wilkie Holmes) listed as a partner. Unqualified secretary Lisa destroys a office typewriter before having the new phone connected to a fire alarm "clanger". Later, to boost business, she advertises a grand opening special with free prizes and discount law services.
8:00p ET
Green Acres
Economy Flight to Washington
The Hooterville Young People's Agricultural Society, comprised of Eb, Hank and Arnold, flies to Washington, D. C. for the national convention. When the stewardess tries to throw the pig off the DC-3, the Douglases come on board to smooth over the problem. With Arnold hiding in "the occupied", the plane takes off with the whole Hooterville crowd aboard.
8:30p ET
Green Acres
Oh, Promise Me
The Douglases learn their marriage license is actually a dentists' license. Lisa moves in with the Monroe Brothers until Oliver agrees to have a big church wedding to make their marriage legal.
9:00p ET
Green Acres
The Reincarnation of Eb
Oliver, Lisa and Eb talk about reincarnation after watching a movie about a grandfather who returns as a racehorse. Later, when Eb goes missing during a nasty thunderstorm, Lisa is worried sick that something bad has happened to him. She's greatly relieved when he returns home safely--"reincarcerated" as a dog.
9:30p ET
Green Acres
Where There's a Will
The descendant of Herman, a pig that predicted the weather with his tail, stands to inherit the $20,000,000 Birnbacher estate. Fred Ziffel is convinced it's Arnold, who has the same talent. Fred, along with everyone else in Hooterville, pressures Oliver to take Arnold to Chicago and claim his inheritance. Oliver, however, isn't interested in becoming a pig lawyer.
10:00p ET
Green Acres
A Tale of a Tail
Noted pig lawyer" Oliver, Lisa and Eb arrive in Chicago to prove Arnold's the rightful heir to a $20,000,000 fortune. While Arnold is given the royal treatment by the hotel staff, the Douglases are treated as persona non grata. The red carpet is rolled up for them all once Arnold's tail predicts snow--in July!
10:30p ET
Green Acres
You and Your Big Shrunken Head
When the Douglases, Eb, and potetentially wealthy Arnold return from Chicago, the pig goes on a gift-giving spree. Mr. Kimball gets a wristwatch, Lisa, an expensive braclet, and Oliver, a shrunken head. With Arnold the target of every salesman in the valley, he hides out at the Douglas farm. Soon they've tracked him down and it's Oliver who has to fight off the pushy peddlers.
11:00p ET
Green Acres
The Road
Oliver's angry over Hooterville's dirt road, especially after learning the money to pave it was appropriated thirty years earlier. Never content to leave well enough alone, he descends on the state capitol demanding that something be done. He makes little headway until Lisa mentions the name of powerful hot dog vendor Big Joe Haney.
11:30p ET
Green Acres
Beauty is Skin Deep
Sam Drucker stocks no "cosmetics" in his store, so Lisa offers to put together a display for him. When 395 cartons of Lady Love cosmetics are delivered, Lisa pushes Sam out the door and converts his business into a "beauty salon". After Oliver tells her she must move her business somewhere else, she sets up shop in their living room.
12:00a ET
Green Acres
Rest and Relaxation
Oliver's old friend, reporter Mort Warner, finds his visit to Hooterville anything but relaxing. In just one day, a pig invades his bed, locals stop by to chat while he's showering, he gets fleeced by Haney and arrested by the sheriff.
12:30a ET
Green Acres
Trapped
Old timbers collapse, trapping Oliver and Lisa in a root cellar beneath their house. Calling for help through the drain in the kitchen sink, the two await a rescue by the addled Kimball and an amnesiac Eb. Their hopes are pinned on Arnold Ziffle and a game of charades.
1:00a ET
Green Acres
Bundle of Joy
While Oliver's in New York working for his old law firm, Lisa and Eb discover little Freddie on the doorstep. Oliver panics when Lisa calls and tells him about the baby, but fails to mention it's a baby dog.
1:30a ET
Green Acres
The Cow Killer
Haney's latest attempt to cheat Oliver could land him in jail if he doesn't repay his $200 by six o'clock. He uses Oliver's irritation over Colby's renegade cow, the Douglases' cow Eleanor and a misplaced phony bovine to his advantage, selling and reselling all three cattle to make money. Along the way, Lisa and Eb become convinced that Oliver is a cold blooded "cow shooster".
2:00a ET
Green Acres
The Confrontation
In just his first day as the School Board President, Oliver has started a grammar school protest. The kids are upset that their mascot, Arnold, has been thrown out for popping his teacher with a pea shooter. Fred asks Oliver to represent his "son" on grounds that he was discriminated against, but all Oliver can do is talk to the school's determined principal.
2:30a ET
Green Acres
The Case of the Hooterville Refund Fraud
Oliver unintentionally provides the motive for the residents of Hooterville to illegally receive more than $500,000 from the Internal Revenue Service. The locals think all they have to do is write in and state their losses--not understanding that they actually have to file taxes first. Eventually, to get its cash back, the IRS invests in Haney's monkey racing track.
3:00a ET
Green Acres
The Picnic
Oliver wants to have a simple, romantic Sunday picnic with Lisa. His plans change with the addition of Eb, his girlfriend, her parents and grandpa, Sam Drucker and his date, Hank Kimball, an old lady from the gas station, an accordion and a sousaphone.
3:30a ET
Green Acres
Apple Picking Time
Oliver has his first good apple crop, but the valley has no pickers. He suggests the farmers take turns picking each others' crops, but by the time they get to him, they're worn out. Compounding his problems, Lisa's driving lessons include an unplanned wreck with a sheriff's car.
4:00a ET
Green Acres
The Free Paint Job
Oliver's happy to let a paint company put a fresh coat on the house as an advertising stunt. But to everyone's suprise, the wood is so porous, it sucks up the paint as quickly as it's applied. In the kitchen, Lisa is taking three weeks to practice cooking spaghetti and meatballs for Oliver's birthday.
4:30a ET
Green Acres
The Spot Remover
Lisa's Uncle Boris sends her a jar of his incredibly effective cleaning fluid. It removes stains from suit coats and rugs, not to mention green from toupees. Seeing dollar signs, Haney sneaks a sample and has it analyzed; the secret formula ends up being a magical recipe for cabbage soup.
5:00a ET
Green Acres
The Carpenter's Ball
Ralph wants Hank to ask her to the Carpenter's Ball, but he comes up with feeble excuses to avoid going. Planning to get the two together at the event, Lisa asks Hank to be her date to the party. In no time, Hooterville is convinced that the Douglases' marriage is on the rocks and that Lisa and Hank are running off to Acapulco.
5:30a ET
Green Acres
The Hole in the Porch
Oliver's temporary fix on his dry rotted front porch proves pointless when Kimball removes the new board and promptly falls through. The injured patient, recuperating in the Douglases' bedroom, becomes a major aggravation with his constant kazoo playing, fawning nursemaid Ralph, and his "attorney" Mr. Haney trying to soak Oliver for $50,000.